Dealing with death is never easy. Thinking of my Grandmother as I write this post. She passed today after battling Cancer. Death is a hard thing. It is one fear that all humans have in common. We all fear it in one way or another. Whether we fear it in regards to our own lives or in regards to those close to us.
My Grandmother’s death was not unexpected. In fact I write this with pride as I tell you that she fought to hang onto life in a way that not many of us thought she was capable of doing. In the last year since her diagnosis my family and I have tried our best to prepare ourselves for her passing. I watched as we all dealt with it in different ways.
As my Grandmother’s outlook got worse and worse I was forced to look at death for the first time in my life. The coldness of death, the darkness of death, the ugliness of death, and the finality of death. It wasn’t until a couple days ago as I sat by her bed that I realized the lessons that can be found in death. No, lessons do not make the hurt go away. They do ensure that you live your own life as a beacon for what that person represented.
As I think about the coldness associated with death I am also inclined to think of the warmth of her hand as I held it in her last days.
As I think about the darkness associated with death I would be doing an injustice not to savor the brightness of her smile in my memory.
As I think about the ugliness associated with death I am reminded of the beauty that she displayed throughout her life.
As I think about the finality of death I should be quick to remember the continuation of her greatest qualities in those she left behind.
Til I see you again, Gram.